So after getting settled a bit into the little town we moved to, here in Utah, I am finding that although there are some definite minuses to living in a smaller town, I forgot how much I missed it. But what I need to incorporate is how to exercise while living away from a gym. I think I will join the little gym downtown, but it will mean getting the boys fed and bathed earlier, so that when Mike gets home, we can read to them and get them laid down earlier, as the gym closes at 9 pm. And I am contacting the bike company I ordered my Bike from, and am asking them to send my the screws and bolts that were supposed to come with my bike. And along with that, I am hoping to get the Mother's Day present I really want, a trailer and stroller, all in one ($200 pretty pennies at Costco) but it will be what gets us around our small town until we buy a second car at the end of August. I am trying my hardest to do this, and try to make better choices each day. I love bike riding, so that will be exciting to be able to exercise while doing something I love.

I feel like I am just stuck in a rut, with no idea how to get out of it. I want to lose weight, and feel better about my appearance, but I also love, love, love to eat. I read about food and the different genes that cause different issues/addictions and I am fairly sure that they could all be possibly why I do love the good foods. I really believe it is biologically hard wired in me, and now I am trying to re-wire myself to be different. So tomorrow, once I have the living room unpacked, I plan on doing one of my exercise videos, as those will have to do for now. I had best be off to bed, as my boys are both early risers. Tomorrow's menu includes:

oatmeal w/ fruit
scrambled egg w/ salsa
kiwi (I have so many from the bountiful basket)
grilled cheese on white with tomato and guacamole (this is seriously amazing!)
homemade fajitas w/ costco tortillas

So thank-you to the two off you who read this blog :) The support is tremendous (and oh, I still have not removed my IUD as I need to get into the doctor to do so. So goodnight all!

My IUD

When I had Jacob (I call him my Ambien baby, as we honestly were using contraceptives, I just kind of would forget when on Ambien) I decided I wanted an IUD. I went into my OBGYN's determined to have the copper one placed, as I hear women who are overweight can have a really hard time losing weight, and some even gain weight while one the Mirena. After chatting with my doctor, I changed my mind, thinking " I will be fine, the weight will come off just like it has been." Guess what? I. Gained. Weight. A lot. I packed on 28 pounds people. I was 212 when I went in for my 6 week check-up, and sure enough, the weight came on. Now I know this was a time when I was stressed and not eating the best, but I certainly did not eat differently enough to constitute a 28 pound gain. The sad thing, I should have remembered that I gained 30 pounds when I was on hormonal contraceptives during my first year of marriage. I have been trying soooo hard, eating right while using My Fitness Pal, and exercising 3-4 times a week, and still, nothing will budge. The crummy part is I was reading over the list of side effects tonight, and a few of the possible side effects are weight gain, nausea, and headaches, all three of which I have been battling. So I have made an executive decision: it needs to come out. Now preferably, as tomorrow would not be soon enough. So as soon as I can, this thing will be coming out.

The nausea and headache and hormonal crap has just pushed me over the edge. So off I go. Hopefully it will help. I have this tummy pudge I have never had before and I am ready for it to go. Anyways, I need to go to bed, as I have an early start tomorrow (oh the joys of moving and painting!)

A Starting Over of Sorts

So I have worked harder and more consistently to be better about my health this year. I had a talk with one of the nurses a few months ago, discussing being healthy vs. losing weight. I find it interesting how many women are more concerned with losing weight vs. being healthy. For me, it is 100% about becoming healthier, and than in turn, losing weight. Because being thin really is not everything, most certainly not a sign of health. She was telling me how she has lost 20 pounds by cutting back to 1500 calories each day, which is not bad, but she was telling me that somedays she just has cookies, a bag of chips, and coke, and as long as she stays under the 1500 calories, she loses weight.

What kills me is that this friend went through nursing school, has been a nurse for about 13 years, and should know the difference. I saw this same mindset with women I worked with at the nursing home, women who were addicted to tanning, and said they would rather die young than not "look good" now.

So although I may overeat, and I am obese, I have awesome cholesterol levels, awesome blood pressures (110/60's) and I have no issues currently with my glucose levels (I do have a family history of diabetes.)

I joined an online group called My Fitness Pal. It is both on my phone and online, and it has me put in what I have eaten for the day, what I have exercised, what I weigh, and how much I would like to eat each day. I think it will be an awesome tool to help me lose the weight. There is also an online community, something I have not had the time to do much with, and I do not really plan on utilizing.

One of the biggest helps has been signing up for something called Bountiful Baskets. It is a co-op, run on a strict volunteer basis, and gives you a basket of fruit and a basket of veggies for a mere $15. It really helps keep my grocery prices down, and allows me to eat more of the good stuff.

I have been doing a Zumba class once or twice a week, and hitting the ellyptical when I can. I am worried about what I will do when I move in 2 1/2 weeks and the gym is not open until 10, only until 9, so I will not have an hour to dedicate to exercising, but I will just have to be better about the 30-40 minutes I will have. I am also getting a bike trailer, and will be biking to the bank and grocery store. The bike trailer is both a jogging stroller and bike trailer, and it even has a space to store groceries. Happy Mother's day to me!

So there is my plan. I hate having to restart, and restart, and restart this process, but my 10 year class reunion is in less than 3 months, and I am possibly going on two beach vacations next year. Anyways, I need to get off and go an exercise. Wish me luck!

Sorry, I have been gone.

I have been gone for some time. I sadly developed Pneumonia and it took me FOREVER to get back to some regular exercise. I finally started a few weeks ago, after getting quite depressed about how I looked and felt. I still get frustrated. Being a woman is so very hard. And I know there are many out there that have not had to battle with their weight, whether from great genes, or just really enjoying exercise, or whatever have you, but I love, love, love food, and I HATE, HATE, HATE exercise (or at least going to exercise.) I have started going to Zumba twice a week, which I love as I have always enjoyed dancing. I am convinced it is one of the reasons I gained 30 pounds my first year of marriage, as I no longer was going dancing like I was as a single.

Being depressed about how you look can be a huge motivator towards becoming healthy and getting to where you feel better about yourself. My husband, Mike, is a huge personal cheerleader in my life. He loves me no matter how much I weigh, but I realize that the further I get through school, the more I need to get healthy. I will have zero credibility with patients, either as a PA or nutritionist, if I am obese.

So for a plan: I am going to be moving in a little over a month down to small town. This small town has a small gym, but the gym closes at 8, which does not work with being a mom. So I am going to have to do exercise videos and/or exercise videos to get this done. I am tired of excuses, tired of not fitting in clothes. So I also signed up and bought this exercise program. It is awesome as a lot of the program is geared towards moms. So I am going to retake some before pictures and post updates as I go through this. Better get off and clean. I will post again soon!

Opening this up

I feel like I need to share this with others, as it will not only hold me more accountable, but it will allow me to share the experience. Because I do not want everyone seeing such horrendous pictures of me (there is still a post that has the pictures) but I need to not feel so vulnerable. I re-started my journey in October, got sick, had sick kids, and than got back on the wagon Thanksgiving week. I took a short 10 day break during finals, but exercised right across Christmas and New Years, in the hopes of staving off weight gain through the holidays (something that did happen.) I maintained my 238. 238 is pretty sad, as I had been down to 219 this year, which is 19 pounds gained back. But I did find a routine towards the end of the semester. I am just aiming for a pound a week of weight loss, which is not aiming to high. And I exercise for an hour, from 9-10pm while watching my shows and the machine says that I burn 700-850 calories. I weighed in tonight and lost the pound for this week, so any extra is just an awesome bonus. I still need to eat better, although I have not been bearable. So there is the update, and permission for anyone to read!

Geez!

Too much good food people! I will be heading to the grocery store tomorrow, probably after the Zumba class I would like to hit at the local rec center in the morning. I exercised tonight. 40 minutes on the elliptical sort of thing, but the best thing is that I discovered our little town will be doing the Biggest Loser, and it starts February 2nd! It has 3 rounds of competition, and anyone who knows me knows how competitive I am. So onto tackling my fridge and cupboards, and re-setting myself up to do this. I am off now to read The Biggest Loser Cook Book (which also has exercises in it) to give me some inspiration!

More Motivation

I just realized that my ten year class reunion is this next summer. Mix that with being in a bathing soup equals a little more fuel in my fire. And this is my question: do skinny girl's feet hurt as bad as someone who is obese in heels or boots? Because it seems like to me, whether you are fat or thin, everyone wears shoes between sizes 6-10. I wear an 8-9 depending on a shoe, as do other thin friends and family members, and we obviously have quite the difference in weight, so with my size 8-9 foot hefting around 230 pounds versus a sister or best friend in the same 8-9 shoe carrying their 130-160 pound frame in a shoe, it seems like their feet would not hurt as bad or as quickly. That is just my hypothesis (and we are talking about shoes that fit, that do not cause blisters or such.) My pain usually comes from my arches and pads of my feet after wearing my hooker knee-length boots or heals. Any feedback here?